I am really hoping that my mother in law never finds this blog. I say that for one reason, she's a huge trigger for me. Part of my reasoning for needing to secretly blog is this whole feeling that sometimes I can't express myself completely. I have a slightly secret world that I live in. I don't want to frustrate anyone or annoy anyone or piss anyone off.
Online, I can do that because I don't know you folks.
Yesterday, I contacted my ShySister to ask her when her next softball game was and she informed me that it was that night. I asked what time to be there and she told me it started at 8 but she wouldn't be there until 8:30. When she came, my mother in law informed me that they were late because she had her band concert. As soon as I heard that news, I tensed up and shut down a bit. I didn't want to appear rude or frustrated so I responded with quietness.
My mother in law is a spread the news kind of woman. I try to go to my little sisters games and concerts and events because I think it's important that she feels loved and connected to her older siblings. She is a lot like SkinnyHusband. If you ask him something, he answers the question but doesn't add information. It would have been easy for me to say "The game starts at 8 but I won't be there until 8:30 because my band concert is before." ShySister literally answered the question-she would be there at 8:30.
I've asked my mother in law before when was ShySister's next concert. I've asked multiple times always answered with "I'll let you know when I know." ShySister is only 13. Her life is focused on friends and popularity and not being embarrassed by her parents right now. She doesn't normally inform us of anything but always is happy to see us.
When I asked BeautifulSister if she knew about the concert and she admitted that MotherDearest had indeed told her. She thought everyone knew. BeautifulSister said "I think she's been stressed lately so she probably forgot to mention it."
She has time to mention her new patio furniture 4x's and the free vacation she won multiple times but not let her son (SkinnyHusband) know that his sister has an important event.
This isn't the first time MotherDearest has done this. It won't be the last. SkinnyHusband is use to this kind of behavior. I don't know if I will ever be use to it.
MotherDearest is always more stressed. Her life is always more important than ours. She always has SOOOOOOO MUCH going on. She always has deserved a vacation more than anyone. Her husband is the worst (Which is bullshit cause he's a great man-I love my father in law...don't know how he puts up with it all).
The whole time we were there she tried to talk about stuff I could care less about and I was unable to stop myself. She wanted to discuss how she should decorate her patio now that she has furniture. She wanted to talk about how terrible her day was and how dramatic
Skinny and I never had a honeymoon. We couldn't afford it at the time. We both work all day to live a decent life. I'm actually happy with our life. We spend a lot of time together. We make each other happy. We try not to brag about whatever we've bought or live extravagantly. He's my everything.
My MotherDearest failed to provide us with plans. I failed to plan on seeing her. I failed to figure out my escape from words I knew she was going to say. And what ended up happening was I ate an extra slice of pizza. Therefore I failed to stay strong because I failed to plan on seeing her.
There is no result to this day. It's just a rant about life and failures. But thanks for reading and I hope tomorrow is better.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
My Board of Smiles
At my job, we're encouraged to provide bulletin boards with nutritional information on them. A few years ago, I had a bulletin board with lots of pretty nutrition pictures and put up posters and then people complained my office was too "junky."
Since then, I've left the posters up but replaced my board with pictures of my family and friends and happy times. I can't tell you how many times I've looked up at the board and laughed or smiles or almost shed a tear thinking about how great a day was or how much fun an event was or how much I love someone.
When life gets a little stressful at work, I just look at my board and smile. I think it's important to surround yourself with happiness when you're working on your own happiness.
This week has been rough at work. People blaming me for them not being quick enough at their jobs. People blaming me for not doing their job (no lie). People blaming me for starving their babies. It's been a lot of blame and a lot of disconnecting.
But the Board of Smiles has helped. Walking has helped. Swimming has helped. And lastly AwesomeBoss has helped. I saw her tonight and it really made my day. She has no idea how happy I am when I get to see her. (Maybe she does if she reads this post...but if I could work with one person again-it would be her).
Since then, I've left the posters up but replaced my board with pictures of my family and friends and happy times. I can't tell you how many times I've looked up at the board and laughed or smiles or almost shed a tear thinking about how great a day was or how much fun an event was or how much I love someone.
When life gets a little stressful at work, I just look at my board and smile. I think it's important to surround yourself with happiness when you're working on your own happiness.
This week has been rough at work. People blaming me for them not being quick enough at their jobs. People blaming me for not doing their job (no lie). People blaming me for starving their babies. It's been a lot of blame and a lot of disconnecting.
But the Board of Smiles has helped. Walking has helped. Swimming has helped. And lastly AwesomeBoss has helped. I saw her tonight and it really made my day. She has no idea how happy I am when I get to see her. (Maybe she does if she reads this post...but if I could work with one person again-it would be her).
Monday, May 27, 2013
Why do your legs twitch?
I am really enjoying my walks. I sleep better. I feel better. I relax easier. Overall, I think it helps everything. Most of the time, I walk right after I wake up so I run and shower immediately after.
Since it's memorial day weekend, I've had 4 days in a row off. I've been walking whenever I wanted. Today, as soon as I finished the walk, I went and enjoyed the lovely outdoors. My legs up resting, I realized how much my legs twitch after my journey.
Do they normally do this? I have no idea...they stopped after 15 minutes but it was an awkward feeling. I think the human body is an amazing thing. The breaking down of protein to build stronger protein. Very cool.
This weekend was a bit easier than other weekends. I am back on my meds. I had relaxing time with my SkinnyHusband, BeautifulSister, and my parents. I accomplished some housework. SkinnyHusband accomplished some outdoor work. I've stayed hydrated. I've eaten my fruits. I hope this week is as marvelous as this weekend.
And I want to say a brief thank you to all the troops and their families who fight for our freedom and give their lives for their country. I might not support war but I support those that fight.
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| Restful peace after a lovely walk. |
Thursday, May 23, 2013
The little things we take for granted
There are a million things in life that I know I take for granted. I know I am very fortunate to have a job, a house, a car, a husband that loves me, a dog that loves me, a cat that doesn't bit me. I know these things but one of the things I really take for granted is how easy it is in life for me.
That might sound terrible. In fact, just rereading it sounds terrible. Things are not always "easy" but they're a heck of a lot easier than it could be. I was born American. I was raised speaking English. I live in a world that speaks my native language. That is something that I take for granted everyday.
Earlier today, I had a new mom in my office that was not taking her medication because A) She didn't want to ruin her breastmilk and B) she didn't know how to take them. I don't want to get political on here because honestly, your opinion is your opinion and mine is mine but I felt so sorry for her. Here's a woman in pain, risking infection, not taking care of herself because she can't. I'm sure a nurse came in and told her what medications to take before she left and might have said it too quickly or she forgot. When she filled the prescription at Wal-Mart, the label was printed in English.
With the languages that are spoken in this country, how often is this happening? I am very fortunate to work with girls that are helpful and patient and helped me explain to the mom the importance of the medication she was suppose to be taking. They also transcribed the labels for me while I researched their breastfeeding safety. The doctor did a great job when she was in the hospital getting her medication that was breastfeeding friendly.
I'm sure that one day, they'll have a button that you can click that would transcribe the language on the label for you and they might even do that sometimes. It made me rethink how I've been doing stuff. I have at least 1 new mom in my office everyday that speaks and reads Spanish. I really will start paying more attention to the medications now because I am sure she's not the only one that needed help with it.
Please, take a moment today and think about something you take for granted...let someone know how much they mean to you or how much you appreciate them. I don't know who to tell that I appreciate that my language is everywhere. Maybe SkinnyHusband and Kreacher.
Oh heck...here's a picture of that cute little guy!
That might sound terrible. In fact, just rereading it sounds terrible. Things are not always "easy" but they're a heck of a lot easier than it could be. I was born American. I was raised speaking English. I live in a world that speaks my native language. That is something that I take for granted everyday.
Earlier today, I had a new mom in my office that was not taking her medication because A) She didn't want to ruin her breastmilk and B) she didn't know how to take them. I don't want to get political on here because honestly, your opinion is your opinion and mine is mine but I felt so sorry for her. Here's a woman in pain, risking infection, not taking care of herself because she can't. I'm sure a nurse came in and told her what medications to take before she left and might have said it too quickly or she forgot. When she filled the prescription at Wal-Mart, the label was printed in English.
With the languages that are spoken in this country, how often is this happening? I am very fortunate to work with girls that are helpful and patient and helped me explain to the mom the importance of the medication she was suppose to be taking. They also transcribed the labels for me while I researched their breastfeeding safety. The doctor did a great job when she was in the hospital getting her medication that was breastfeeding friendly.
I'm sure that one day, they'll have a button that you can click that would transcribe the language on the label for you and they might even do that sometimes. It made me rethink how I've been doing stuff. I have at least 1 new mom in my office everyday that speaks and reads Spanish. I really will start paying more attention to the medications now because I am sure she's not the only one that needed help with it.
Please, take a moment today and think about something you take for granted...let someone know how much they mean to you or how much you appreciate them. I don't know who to tell that I appreciate that my language is everywhere. Maybe SkinnyHusband and Kreacher.
Oh heck...here's a picture of that cute little guy!
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| They're both cute and little though ;) |
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Must....take....medication....
For the past few months, I've been taking a medication for my ovaries. It causes me to lose some of my appetite. It also seems to help with abdominal fat (it might not, but I feel like it does). I finally got on my regimen and took it everyday for 6 weeks and something happened last week and I forgot.
Since then, I've been hit and miss.
And my habits have been hit and miss.
I'm seeing a correlation with this medication and my diet.
I really need to get back on to making sure to take it everyday. When I took it everyday, I felt like a million bucks. I felt like I was in control of everything.
I promise you reader that I will do better. I promise you that I will take my medication every night and I will refill it in a timely manner.
OTTNOFW
Since then, I've been hit and miss.
And my habits have been hit and miss.
I'm seeing a correlation with this medication and my diet.
I really need to get back on to making sure to take it everyday. When I took it everyday, I felt like a million bucks. I felt like I was in control of everything.
I promise you reader that I will do better. I promise you that I will take my medication every night and I will refill it in a timely manner.
OTTNOFW
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
I understand friendship....
Some of my friends and family know that I'm writing this blog. I've only let one person know what the blog itself is and that's AwesomeBoss. One of the reasons for that is that I don't want to feel like I have to censor myself. I can talk shit about my life and my ups and downs and not worry. It's not that I don't love people enough to give them the name, it's just that I love myself enough to know how I react when people know what I'm thinking. (But AwesomeBoss knows me well enough to not worry or judge...part of the reason she's so Awesome!)
This weekend, a good friend came and hung out with us. Missie is upset with me for not letting her know the name of the blog. She's a sweet girl but she is very focused on the looks and the number. She sees her wedding photos and says "I was so skinny there. I've gained 17lbs." I look in my wedding photos and yes I'm much chunkier, but I was so happy and that's what I remember about that day. It's not the looks weight wise, it's the looks happiness wise.
I think when you're getting healthier, people comment mostly about your looks "You look so good! How much weight have you lost?!" or "Your pants are looking baggy, that's great!" I like to hear these things too but I also love things like "FatWife, you've been doing great working out before work, I'm so proud of you." My sister provides these comments for me. If I have a NSV, I tell her and she tells me how awesome I am. Motivation is important.
SkinnyHusband made a comment about Missie this weekend and how she is always commenting on what he eats. When he eats something bad, Missie will say "How can you eat like that and stay so skinny?!" and when he eats something healthy that she doesn't like, she'll say "that's how you stay so skinny, eating stuff that no one likes." These kinds of comments when you're aiming for health make a difference on your attitude. It makes me think about all the food I eat and if I'm going to be judged for eating a slice of pizza or a banana.
I mean no harm for Missie not being able to read my blog. When she does find this blog, I hope she won't think badly about the stuff I've said. I just don't know if I need her to read my personal thoughts and feelings yet. I hope when she finds the blog, she won't tell me she is reading it.
She has 17lbs to lose. I have 9x's that amount to be where I should be...weight loss isn't easy no matter how much or how little but it's almost easier for me to express my feelings to complete strangers than someone that has known me for 14 years. Maybe she'll lose her 17lbs before I lose my 150lbs but maybe I'll be there first. You never know where life will take you. I just know I'm starting to be the girl I've always wanted to be.
This weekend, a good friend came and hung out with us. Missie is upset with me for not letting her know the name of the blog. She's a sweet girl but she is very focused on the looks and the number. She sees her wedding photos and says "I was so skinny there. I've gained 17lbs." I look in my wedding photos and yes I'm much chunkier, but I was so happy and that's what I remember about that day. It's not the looks weight wise, it's the looks happiness wise.
I think when you're getting healthier, people comment mostly about your looks "You look so good! How much weight have you lost?!" or "Your pants are looking baggy, that's great!" I like to hear these things too but I also love things like "FatWife, you've been doing great working out before work, I'm so proud of you." My sister provides these comments for me. If I have a NSV, I tell her and she tells me how awesome I am. Motivation is important.
SkinnyHusband made a comment about Missie this weekend and how she is always commenting on what he eats. When he eats something bad, Missie will say "How can you eat like that and stay so skinny?!" and when he eats something healthy that she doesn't like, she'll say "that's how you stay so skinny, eating stuff that no one likes." These kinds of comments when you're aiming for health make a difference on your attitude. It makes me think about all the food I eat and if I'm going to be judged for eating a slice of pizza or a banana.
I mean no harm for Missie not being able to read my blog. When she does find this blog, I hope she won't think badly about the stuff I've said. I just don't know if I need her to read my personal thoughts and feelings yet. I hope when she finds the blog, she won't tell me she is reading it.
She has 17lbs to lose. I have 9x's that amount to be where I should be...weight loss isn't easy no matter how much or how little but it's almost easier for me to express my feelings to complete strangers than someone that has known me for 14 years. Maybe she'll lose her 17lbs before I lose my 150lbs but maybe I'll be there first. You never know where life will take you. I just know I'm starting to be the girl I've always wanted to be.
Monday, May 20, 2013
You've got to pull yourself together
It's a blah day. I don't know what it's like in the rest of the world but it's blah here. I just want to be at home in bed watching The Golden Girls. I woke up to go walking and my back was sore. I went to look outside and it was raining. I went back to bed. So now...I'm having trouble seeing the world in the best way to see it: positively.
I have snacked all day. Snacked to the point that I'm so full. Why are some weeks harder than others. I want to continue with my goals this week and I know I'm going to be up. The goal this week is to continue to try to make improvements.
I look at SkinnyHusband and wonder why it was so easy for him. It wasn't as easy as I give him credit for but it was easy to eat vegetables. He eats salad like it's chips. He eats fruit like they're cupcakes, devouring them in happiness.
I broke down. I had sweet tea today. When I use to drink sweet tea, it was heaven. It was liquid sugar and it was amazing. Today, it was good for the first few sips...then it became "too sweet" followed by "painful." I'm literally in pain after drinking sweet tea. Well done body.
Body: 2 Mind: 0
Here's to not giving up. Not giving in. To looking for happiness even on a rainy day!
I have snacked all day. Snacked to the point that I'm so full. Why are some weeks harder than others. I want to continue with my goals this week and I know I'm going to be up. The goal this week is to continue to try to make improvements.
I look at SkinnyHusband and wonder why it was so easy for him. It wasn't as easy as I give him credit for but it was easy to eat vegetables. He eats salad like it's chips. He eats fruit like they're cupcakes, devouring them in happiness.
I broke down. I had sweet tea today. When I use to drink sweet tea, it was heaven. It was liquid sugar and it was amazing. Today, it was good for the first few sips...then it became "too sweet" followed by "painful." I'm literally in pain after drinking sweet tea. Well done body.
Body: 2 Mind: 0
Here's to not giving up. Not giving in. To looking for happiness even on a rainy day!
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Happy Anniversary SkinnyHusband!
Last night, we went to a friends place to celebrate her birthday. Since she was turning 29, she wanted to have a "20's party" which worked out great since the Great Gatsby was coming out.
Normally, when we go out, SkinnyHusband drinks and I take care of him. Mainly because I'm not real into drinking. This time, I wanted to drink since it was Bestie's birthday.
It was during that party that I realized how good to me SkinnyHusband is sometimes. Most of the time really...We ordered pizza and he even fixed me a couple of slices. He kept refilling my drink. He made the food to bring for me. Yeup...I'm pretty spoiled.
There is no amazing advice or revelation for me in this writing. Just bragging on a good year. Engagement was stressful but marriage has been wonderful and I hope other people have as good of a life as we do.
PS: SkinnyHusband suprised me with a great card and tootsie rolls and was going to make me french toast for breakfast ;)
Normally, when we go out, SkinnyHusband drinks and I take care of him. Mainly because I'm not real into drinking. This time, I wanted to drink since it was Bestie's birthday.
It was during that party that I realized how good to me SkinnyHusband is sometimes. Most of the time really...We ordered pizza and he even fixed me a couple of slices. He kept refilling my drink. He made the food to bring for me. Yeup...I'm pretty spoiled.
There is no amazing advice or revelation for me in this writing. Just bragging on a good year. Engagement was stressful but marriage has been wonderful and I hope other people have as good of a life as we do.
PS: SkinnyHusband suprised me with a great card and tootsie rolls and was going to make me french toast for breakfast ;)
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| FatWife and SkinnyHusband at the Roaring Twenties 05/19/13 |
Happy 1 Year SkinnyHusband! I love you more than words can express.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Serious NSV!
Last year, after the wedding, I changed from my dress into a green t-shirt that I love. It's called "Burning Calories" and it has a carrot chasing some unhealthy foods around. To me, it's a funny shirt because when you're being healthy, you feel good. You want to kick your unhealthy self in the butt just a smidge. You want to chase it around and get it moving and get it to be a little healthier.
At the wedding, I had only brought 3 or 4 shirts with me and most were dirty. I wanted to be comfortable and enjoy the party. I changed into a funny shirt and I remember feeling "unpretty" as soon as I put it on. I still had my full body spanx on and it was still tight. I pulled at the sleeves to make them a little bigger and streched the belly area.
At the time, I just remember thinking to suck in whenever anyone was taking photos. This photo below is when I was sucking in. I remember thinking my belly was too big. I remember thinking I wish I could just be small. All those feelings were rushing through my head on my wedding day....the time when a girl is suppose to feel pretty.
Tonight, I wore that shirt again but I didn't have to stretch it out. I didn't have to suck in all the time. I was comfortable and it was loose. It wasn't big but it was how I should have felt last year-confident and comfortable and happy. I am still far from skinny but I'm skinnier.
I was telling my friend Latte that I felt so good in it. She's a very nice girl. I often feel fat around her but I'm working on it. I know she doesn't want me to feel this way. When I pulled up the photo of last year in the shirt she said "you can tell a difference, especially around the stomach." Made me feel accomplished.
Here's the the Non-Scale Victories and the girl that's having them!
At the wedding, I had only brought 3 or 4 shirts with me and most were dirty. I wanted to be comfortable and enjoy the party. I changed into a funny shirt and I remember feeling "unpretty" as soon as I put it on. I still had my full body spanx on and it was still tight. I pulled at the sleeves to make them a little bigger and streched the belly area.
At the time, I just remember thinking to suck in whenever anyone was taking photos. This photo below is when I was sucking in. I remember thinking my belly was too big. I remember thinking I wish I could just be small. All those feelings were rushing through my head on my wedding day....the time when a girl is suppose to feel pretty.
Tonight, I wore that shirt again but I didn't have to stretch it out. I didn't have to suck in all the time. I was comfortable and it was loose. It wasn't big but it was how I should have felt last year-confident and comfortable and happy. I am still far from skinny but I'm skinnier.
I was telling my friend Latte that I felt so good in it. She's a very nice girl. I often feel fat around her but I'm working on it. I know she doesn't want me to feel this way. When I pulled up the photo of last year in the shirt she said "you can tell a difference, especially around the stomach." Made me feel accomplished.
Here's the the Non-Scale Victories and the girl that's having them!
Friday, May 17, 2013
Body: 1 Mind: 0
I love how I think I'm smarter than my body. In my head, I say "oh I'll be fine." At first, I always am. Then after a few minutes, body says "hey...I'm in charge here."
This week has been awesome on the exercise front.
Monday, I walked/ran/wii fit.
Tuesday, I walked/ran.
Wednesday, I walked/ran/zumba'ed.
Thursday, I walked/swam.
Today, I walked/ran and still have an afternoon adventure to go!
I was tired Monday. I was a little tired Tuesday. Wednesday, I was so pumped I couldn't imagine being tired. After swimming, I was more cold than anything but I didn't feel tired until 9pm. I'm tired right now at 6:17am on Friday.
The difference between my last morning walk and today's morning walk was simple....I didn't physically prepare myself. After swimming last night, I had at least 600 that I needed to eat but I didn't feel like eating. I also didn't rehydrate my body. I thought "I'll walk and weigh in tomorrow and then drink some water."
What a fool I am sometimes. About 3 minutes into the walk, I started to do my normal 1/4 mile jog. I couldn't seem to get focused. I made it the 1/4 mile but barely. When I started walking down the hill, I thought it would be easier to just roll down it. I wanted to double over to breathe. I approached the other 1/4 mile area I normally jog and almost couldn't even start. I had to stop jogging when I thought I was about to get dizzy. I didn't think I would make it back to the house. I thought I was going to have to go wake up a neighbor to call SkinnyHusband.
I did made it back safely and slowly somehow and I did go and weigh in but now I don't think it was worth it. In fact, I know it wasn't.
We all do stupid things sometimes...I'm incredibly smart especially with nutrition. I know how the body works. I know how important water and calories are when you're trying to get healthy. But I was willing to look beyond what I needed to do and do what I wanted to do.
I've learned my lesson though! This weekend, I want to make sure I'm well hydrated and nourished I am for the next workout. I don't want to do this thing the wrong way.
OTTHNOFW
Have a healthy and nutritious Friday!
This week has been awesome on the exercise front.
Monday, I walked/ran/wii fit.
Tuesday, I walked/ran.
Wednesday, I walked/ran/zumba'ed.
Thursday, I walked/swam.
Today, I walked/ran and still have an afternoon adventure to go!
I was tired Monday. I was a little tired Tuesday. Wednesday, I was so pumped I couldn't imagine being tired. After swimming, I was more cold than anything but I didn't feel tired until 9pm. I'm tired right now at 6:17am on Friday.
The difference between my last morning walk and today's morning walk was simple....I didn't physically prepare myself. After swimming last night, I had at least 600 that I needed to eat but I didn't feel like eating. I also didn't rehydrate my body. I thought "I'll walk and weigh in tomorrow and then drink some water."
What a fool I am sometimes. About 3 minutes into the walk, I started to do my normal 1/4 mile jog. I couldn't seem to get focused. I made it the 1/4 mile but barely. When I started walking down the hill, I thought it would be easier to just roll down it. I wanted to double over to breathe. I approached the other 1/4 mile area I normally jog and almost couldn't even start. I had to stop jogging when I thought I was about to get dizzy. I didn't think I would make it back to the house. I thought I was going to have to go wake up a neighbor to call SkinnyHusband.
I did made it back safely and slowly somehow and I did go and weigh in but now I don't think it was worth it. In fact, I know it wasn't.
We all do stupid things sometimes...I'm incredibly smart especially with nutrition. I know how the body works. I know how important water and calories are when you're trying to get healthy. But I was willing to look beyond what I needed to do and do what I wanted to do.
I've learned my lesson though! This weekend, I want to make sure I'm well hydrated and nourished I am for the next workout. I don't want to do this thing the wrong way.
OTTHNOFW
Have a healthy and nutritious Friday!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Who knew I could be motivational!?
I had a client this week who was very down on herself for becoming so large. I'm an excellent guesser of weight most of the time. In fact, I frequently get the BMI within 1 point-possible carnie career in my future?!
This woman was much larger than me. If I could have guessed her weight, it would have been between 340 and 350. She told me her pregravid weight was around 305. As we started talking more and more, she said the doctor just weighed her at 319 last week.
I was slightly in disbelief because I didn't think she could have gained that much that quickly. I weighed her for today and she was 315. I almost had to pick my jaw up off the floor. She was about 1" taller than I am. I was looking a woman who had very similar stats to mine from the beginning of this year.
I had reassured her during my consultation that it does get better. As I was talking to her, I realized I actually meant what I said. I meant it when I said that it's a slow process but focusing on something new every week makes it more manageable than doing it all at once. I meant it when I said that tracking foods helps you realize you're not really hungry, you're just bored. I meant it when I said it's a slow process and sometimes you go down in number and sometimes you don't.
For the past 3 weeks, I've been stuck at the same weight. I know that I will push through the 295lb mark. I told her about how I have been stuck at this number for a while and she said "I would just give up" and I instantly responded "I see it as a joy that I haven't gained it back so I'd rather be stuck and trying than give up and be miserable like I was again." She nodded and smiled and I could see it in her eyes that she was thinking differently.
We continued with our appointment and as she was leaving she said thank you to me and my clerk and then looked at me and said "you really have helped. Thank you so much for being a real person and for giving me hope."
I see SkinnyHusband as a motivation...I see AwesomeBoss as a motivation...I see 12 year old self as a motivation...but I guess I can be one to someone as well!
This woman was much larger than me. If I could have guessed her weight, it would have been between 340 and 350. She told me her pregravid weight was around 305. As we started talking more and more, she said the doctor just weighed her at 319 last week.
I was slightly in disbelief because I didn't think she could have gained that much that quickly. I weighed her for today and she was 315. I almost had to pick my jaw up off the floor. She was about 1" taller than I am. I was looking a woman who had very similar stats to mine from the beginning of this year.
I had reassured her during my consultation that it does get better. As I was talking to her, I realized I actually meant what I said. I meant it when I said that it's a slow process but focusing on something new every week makes it more manageable than doing it all at once. I meant it when I said that tracking foods helps you realize you're not really hungry, you're just bored. I meant it when I said it's a slow process and sometimes you go down in number and sometimes you don't.
For the past 3 weeks, I've been stuck at the same weight. I know that I will push through the 295lb mark. I told her about how I have been stuck at this number for a while and she said "I would just give up" and I instantly responded "I see it as a joy that I haven't gained it back so I'd rather be stuck and trying than give up and be miserable like I was again." She nodded and smiled and I could see it in her eyes that she was thinking differently.
We continued with our appointment and as she was leaving she said thank you to me and my clerk and then looked at me and said "you really have helped. Thank you so much for being a real person and for giving me hope."
I see SkinnyHusband as a motivation...I see AwesomeBoss as a motivation...I see 12 year old self as a motivation...but I guess I can be one to someone as well!
Perfection doesn't exist
I was looking at SkinnyHusband today and realized how insecure he still is with his self. To me, it's crazy. I was super confident when I was 190lbs. I had insecurities, but I thought very highly of myself.
He's pretty hot. He has always been attractive and girls always checked him out. Now, girls really stare and I do as well some days.
He was looking in the mirror today and I could see him looking at his stomach. Yes, he has abs but under the abs, there is skin. A very small amount of skin that folds over his pants when he bends a just little. It's a very tiny amount. Its amazing that he doesn't have more loose skin cause of the 100+lbs he lost.
I'm not sure if it will ever get smaller. In a way, I hope it does cause I think he'd be less insecure with taking his shirt off. At the same time, I hope it never goes away. It's a battle scar....a war he waged on overeating and his unhealthy lifestyle....A war he actually won.
In 2008, I suffered a massive face infection. I sometimes think back on how bad it was and become teary because I was so strong. Strangers stared in disgust and pity. I wanted to hide but I couldn't...life had to go on. I've had friends who saw me during that time that admitted to crying for me because it was so bad. Now, I'm left with dimples on my face and kids asking what's wrong with my face sometimes...
 |
| 5 years ago- I had 2 huge red spots on my chin that were puss filled sacks of infection |
A year after the infection was gone, I asked my dermatologist how to get rid of some of the big scars. She takes my chin in her hand, tilts my face in the light and says "plastic surgery." It was right then that I decided I was never going to look perfect but these wounds are my battle scars. I won that war against the infection. It might have won some of my confidence but I won the war.
After stepping off the scale in today's weigh in, I looked at myself in the mirror. There are some minor changes, very minor. No one else can see them yet...This is my new war. I will win in the long run because there is no other option. One day, I too will have a splash of loose skin on my tummy. But imperfection is my perfection.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
That's exhausting!
Yesterday, my walk started at 5:38am and ended at 6:05am. There is a section of my neighborhood that is a giant loop. From my house to that section, around the loop, and back to my house is roughly a mile.
When I started walking yesterday, there was no one on the road. A van drove past me on the loop and into the court I live on around 5:58am. I had to double over to breathe because the exhaust was so terrible. At 6:03, it left my court and again my lungs ached in exhaust fumes. I knew then that I either had to change my time or change my route and either way I would need to not be back before 6am to prevent dealing with it.
Yesterday, I turned right which is going down a hill. Today, I turned left which is flat for the first part of the loop. I had no idea how cold it would be this morning. Wearing a sports bra, tank top, and shorts was not enough for the 42 degrees. As I started to go down the hill (Towards the top of the map), I started to jog. It was a slow jog...I'm pretty sure people could lap me but it was a jog.
It's my first attempt at "jogging" in over a year. I went three mailboxes. My body warmed a bit and I was out of breath. I started walking again. About halfway through the loop, I attempted to jog again. I made it almost 6 mailboxes! As each one came into sight, I said "I can get to another one." I actually quit jogging before I was out of breath. I didn't want to press my luck. I continued my walk until I saw the final hill. I jogged UPHILL. I can't remember the last time I even attempted to run up one. I want you to know that this hill is not steep. I could ride down it with a bike and not fear for my life. It is a hill though.
I noticed something today throughout this "mailbox counting"...I didn't ache. I use to be in pain when I would run. The last time I tried, I was 305lbs. I'm only a few pounds lighter but I could tell it. My heels hurt of course but my ankles and knees didn't want to break on me. I almost wanted to do again. I actually "feel good."
I also took time off my route. Yesterday, it took me 27 minutes. Today, I started at 5:32 and returned at 5:55...that's only 23 minutes! I also missed the exhausting van which was my ultimate goal today.
OTTNOFW.
When I started walking yesterday, there was no one on the road. A van drove past me on the loop and into the court I live on around 5:58am. I had to double over to breathe because the exhaust was so terrible. At 6:03, it left my court and again my lungs ached in exhaust fumes. I knew then that I either had to change my time or change my route and either way I would need to not be back before 6am to prevent dealing with it.
It's my first attempt at "jogging" in over a year. I went three mailboxes. My body warmed a bit and I was out of breath. I started walking again. About halfway through the loop, I attempted to jog again. I made it almost 6 mailboxes! As each one came into sight, I said "I can get to another one." I actually quit jogging before I was out of breath. I didn't want to press my luck. I continued my walk until I saw the final hill. I jogged UPHILL. I can't remember the last time I even attempted to run up one. I want you to know that this hill is not steep. I could ride down it with a bike and not fear for my life. It is a hill though.
I noticed something today throughout this "mailbox counting"...I didn't ache. I use to be in pain when I would run. The last time I tried, I was 305lbs. I'm only a few pounds lighter but I could tell it. My heels hurt of course but my ankles and knees didn't want to break on me. I almost wanted to do again. I actually "feel good."
I also took time off my route. Yesterday, it took me 27 minutes. Today, I started at 5:32 and returned at 5:55...that's only 23 minutes! I also missed the exhausting van which was my ultimate goal today.
OTTNOFW.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Finding time, not excuses
When I use to work out a lot, I would get tired of hearing how people don't have time. My personal trainer would say "people have time, but the focus on the excuses." For the past few months or even years, I have been guilty of thus concept. "My heels hurt." "I work too many hours a day." "I don't have my machine at the gym I belong to." "My gym membership expired."
Last night, I told myself I was going to get up early and walk. I set my alarm for 5:25 am. At 5:15, I turned off the alarm citing exhaustion. I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. The reason I even set that time was because I naturally wake up around that time but I never actually get up and do anything.
At 5:30, something went off in my head. I sprang out of bed, got dressed, took the dog out, fed the dog, and went for my walk. My heels did hurt. I do work too many hours in a day. I no longer have a gym membership and it still doesn't have my favorite machine. But I exercised. I was already awake. Why waste the time watching the clock when I can do something I need to do and get a step closer to my goals.
I started thinking during my walk about how much I hated what I was doing...I love to walk. I love to play. I love to swim. I love to live...but I've been delaying it all. And yes, by the time I got home, I was exhausted. I didn't know how I was going to make it to work. I didn't know how I was going to make breakfast...but I did. I made it to work and I ate breakfast and I feel fine.
By 6am, I had exercised. That hasn't happened in a year. By 6am, I was awake and alive and living.
I've got to start living and doing stuff I like even if I'm tired. I won't be as tired the next time or the time after of the time after it. Life is all in what you make it and I refuse to be on the sidelines any longer.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
And now what...
Yesterday, I watched my sister in law graduate. One of the things I love about my sisters in law is how we treat each other. SkinnyHusband's siblings are amazing. Our life together would be incomplete without them. I think of them as my own siblings.
SkinnySister worked very hard to graduate with honors in 4 years, working multiple jobs to support herself, volunteering, juggling a social life, a relationship, and balancing her diet/exercise.
The last part is really important to me. I use to envy SkinnySister because it seemed so easy to her. She was pretty and smart and could do things she wanted. After a few years of being in college, she gained a little. Not a lot really but she was larger than she felt comfortable being. She started eating right and exercising more. SkinnySister and I are the same height and she's the "perfect weight" for her height. I doubt I'll ever be as small as her but our next photo, I will be closer in size than I am now...
SkinnySister and BabySister are in this photo with me. I look like a ginormous pig next to them but I decided to post this photo because I there's no need to hide.
Even though it seemed very easy for her to lose the weight she needed, it took a lot of hard work and dedication and it wasn't easy. She had to replace foods that she loved with healthier options and remained dedicated.
This week, my goal is to increase output like SkinnySister. I want to try to walk in the morning and get back into that habit. I like to walk. I have no excuse. One day, I hope to do yoga with SkinnySister or softball with BabySister without fearing embarrassment.
SkinnySister worked very hard to graduate with honors in 4 years, working multiple jobs to support herself, volunteering, juggling a social life, a relationship, and balancing her diet/exercise.
The last part is really important to me. I use to envy SkinnySister because it seemed so easy to her. She was pretty and smart and could do things she wanted. After a few years of being in college, she gained a little. Not a lot really but she was larger than she felt comfortable being. She started eating right and exercising more. SkinnySister and I are the same height and she's the "perfect weight" for her height. I doubt I'll ever be as small as her but our next photo, I will be closer in size than I am now...
SkinnySister and BabySister are in this photo with me. I look like a ginormous pig next to them but I decided to post this photo because I there's no need to hide.
Even though it seemed very easy for her to lose the weight she needed, it took a lot of hard work and dedication and it wasn't easy. She had to replace foods that she loved with healthier options and remained dedicated.
This week, my goal is to increase output like SkinnySister. I want to try to walk in the morning and get back into that habit. I like to walk. I have no excuse. One day, I hope to do yoga with SkinnySister or softball with BabySister without fearing embarrassment.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Skinny Obseration #4
Skinny people seem to be "comfortable" wherever they want. Today, I had my sister in law's graduation from college. We went to the PNC Arena in Raleigh, NC for the event...
I use to frequently visit the arena when I was skinnier but this was my first time being a chubster. I could fit in the seat without squeezing over but my knees hit the chair in front of me. I looked around and it seemed every one's knees were hitting or coming close to.
SkinnyHusband was comfortable apparently. His great aunt who was sitting next to me was not comfortable either. I didn't think much about it until his grandparents came in and sat down next to us. His grandfather is very tall and knees weren't hitting but everyone looked "squeezed in" to me. His grandmother leaned over and said to me "With this many people, at least they found a comfortable place to sit!"
It hit me then, the skinny people looked like their knees would hit any second but they were actually comfortable. It was us chubby bunnies that couldn't stand the seats. By the time my other sister in law graduates, I plan on being thin enough to be comfortable in those seats...I've got 8 years to get there and I will but I refuse to be "squeezed in" again.
I use to frequently visit the arena when I was skinnier but this was my first time being a chubster. I could fit in the seat without squeezing over but my knees hit the chair in front of me. I looked around and it seemed every one's knees were hitting or coming close to.
SkinnyHusband was comfortable apparently. His great aunt who was sitting next to me was not comfortable either. I didn't think much about it until his grandparents came in and sat down next to us. His grandfather is very tall and knees weren't hitting but everyone looked "squeezed in" to me. His grandmother leaned over and said to me "With this many people, at least they found a comfortable place to sit!"
It hit me then, the skinny people looked like their knees would hit any second but they were actually comfortable. It was us chubby bunnies that couldn't stand the seats. By the time my other sister in law graduates, I plan on being thin enough to be comfortable in those seats...I've got 8 years to get there and I will but I refuse to be "squeezed in" again.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
And just like that...everything changes
My group of friends from college is truly my family. We started Freshman Year with 9 of us and added a couple along the way but we've stayed very close. Sometimes intrusively close...
When my roommate's best friend got married (both part of our group), I had no idea how much my life would change. She is AMAZING. We became very close over the past few years-almost like she's been a part of the group the whole time. I couldn't have found a better person for Thoth! Diana is extremely kindhearted, exceptionally bright, and crafty.
In August of last year, Diana told me she was pregnant. She was the first in our bunch to be pregnant. At 28, we're all kind of postponing that concept or preferring not to have children at all. Diana is very earthy about some stuff and they decided on using a birthing center instead of a hospital. For her, she didn't want to go to a hospital and her worst nightmare was having a c-section.
Tuesday morning, I got the news that she had gone into labor. My life was surging with happiness and worry. By 10pm, I received word that she was being taken to the hospital. My heart sank. What was wrong? Was Diana okay? Was Baby Diana okay? What if they both weren't okay? Would Thoth be okay? What was going on? Did she need me? A million little things swirled in my head and I had to stop myself from getting in the car and driving 5 hours in the middle of the night. I waited patiently by the phone for the next 8 hours checking every 30 minutes for some news. 6am rolled around and another friend texted to say mom and baby were fine. Baby Diana was born healthy and no c-section.
I've never been an excessively obsessive worrier. Things will happen like they are suppose to but this was not the plan. And now, everything has changed. Diana emailed me at noon that day with a picture of Baby Diana and she was lovely. I can sleep again. I work with newborns all the time but this one is different. She's my Diana's newborn. Now my group from college have started having babies.
I know what my 12 year old self would tell me,but what do I want to tell this innoccent creature? She's got a world ahead of her and I want her to live it with no fear. She can do amazing things. She doesn't have to worry about money or politics or work or in laws or siblings. She gets to be a child.
Just like I should have learned as a child, love yourself no matter what you look like or how ugly you may feel. She's beautiful and I know at some point in my life 28 years ago, several people felt that way about me. And they're right. I am beautiful. I just hope I never talk about weight to Baby Diana cause she should never worry. She's just perfect no matter what...she's perfect.
When my roommate's best friend got married (both part of our group), I had no idea how much my life would change. She is AMAZING. We became very close over the past few years-almost like she's been a part of the group the whole time. I couldn't have found a better person for Thoth! Diana is extremely kindhearted, exceptionally bright, and crafty.
In August of last year, Diana told me she was pregnant. She was the first in our bunch to be pregnant. At 28, we're all kind of postponing that concept or preferring not to have children at all. Diana is very earthy about some stuff and they decided on using a birthing center instead of a hospital. For her, she didn't want to go to a hospital and her worst nightmare was having a c-section.
Tuesday morning, I got the news that she had gone into labor. My life was surging with happiness and worry. By 10pm, I received word that she was being taken to the hospital. My heart sank. What was wrong? Was Diana okay? Was Baby Diana okay? What if they both weren't okay? Would Thoth be okay? What was going on? Did she need me? A million little things swirled in my head and I had to stop myself from getting in the car and driving 5 hours in the middle of the night. I waited patiently by the phone for the next 8 hours checking every 30 minutes for some news. 6am rolled around and another friend texted to say mom and baby were fine. Baby Diana was born healthy and no c-section.
I've never been an excessively obsessive worrier. Things will happen like they are suppose to but this was not the plan. And now, everything has changed. Diana emailed me at noon that day with a picture of Baby Diana and she was lovely. I can sleep again. I work with newborns all the time but this one is different. She's my Diana's newborn. Now my group from college have started having babies.
I know what my 12 year old self would tell me,but what do I want to tell this innoccent creature? She's got a world ahead of her and I want her to live it with no fear. She can do amazing things. She doesn't have to worry about money or politics or work or in laws or siblings. She gets to be a child.
Just like I should have learned as a child, love yourself no matter what you look like or how ugly you may feel. She's beautiful and I know at some point in my life 28 years ago, several people felt that way about me. And they're right. I am beautiful. I just hope I never talk about weight to Baby Diana cause she should never worry. She's just perfect no matter what...she's perfect.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
What would you're 12 year old self tell you?
Yesterday, I was listening to an interview on the radio of a girl 16 years ago. I started thinking, what did I believe 16 years ago.
My 12 year old self honestly thought she wouldn't have to worry about weight by the time she was 28. The doctor kept saying "she'll grow into her weight." I was the right weight at 12 for my height at 28. I would have "grown into my weight" if I had changed my lifestyle at 12.
My 12 year old self thought she would love salad as an adult. My father routinely told me as a child he didn't like salad until he was in his twenties. I thought for sure that I would turn 20 or 22 and BAM suddenly, I would turn to lettuce and say "Hello, Lettuce, I love you now."
My 12 year old self believed she would go to college and get a well paying job that started at 60k. I just knew that I deserved minimum of 60k/yr just because I went to school and everyone loved me and I would be a huge success.
CLEARLY, my 12 year old self knew nothing about the future held in store for us. I was slightly delusional and quite a dreamer. You don't instantly love a food you've spent 20 years not liking. You don't instantly lose weight just because you're an adult. You don't get money because you survived college. But I admire that 12 year old.
She knew what it was like to have fun. She knew how to dance as if no one was watching. She knew singing loudly made life more fun. She made amazing friends that she was able to keep for 20+ years. She knew how to make believe and play barbies even though everyone else felt "too old for barbies." She knew boobs were a nuisance and bra's were stupid. She was not afraid of being different. Lastly, she knew how to laugh. She knew it was okay to laugh at silly things or even herself.
Thinking about it....12 year old me is kind of my hero.
My goal this week is to avoid the things my 12 year old me would slap me over. I don't want to worry all week about my weigh in. I don't want to sit down and just stare at the world. I want to get up and participate and think about it like 12 year old me would think!
Here's to life and the girls who's living it!
My 12 year old self honestly thought she wouldn't have to worry about weight by the time she was 28. The doctor kept saying "she'll grow into her weight." I was the right weight at 12 for my height at 28. I would have "grown into my weight" if I had changed my lifestyle at 12.
My 12 year old self thought she would love salad as an adult. My father routinely told me as a child he didn't like salad until he was in his twenties. I thought for sure that I would turn 20 or 22 and BAM suddenly, I would turn to lettuce and say "Hello, Lettuce, I love you now."
My 12 year old self believed she would go to college and get a well paying job that started at 60k. I just knew that I deserved minimum of 60k/yr just because I went to school and everyone loved me and I would be a huge success.
CLEARLY, my 12 year old self knew nothing about the future held in store for us. I was slightly delusional and quite a dreamer. You don't instantly love a food you've spent 20 years not liking. You don't instantly lose weight just because you're an adult. You don't get money because you survived college. But I admire that 12 year old.
She knew what it was like to have fun. She knew how to dance as if no one was watching. She knew singing loudly made life more fun. She made amazing friends that she was able to keep for 20+ years. She knew how to make believe and play barbies even though everyone else felt "too old for barbies." She knew boobs were a nuisance and bra's were stupid. She was not afraid of being different. Lastly, she knew how to laugh. She knew it was okay to laugh at silly things or even herself.
Thinking about it....12 year old me is kind of my hero.
My goal this week is to avoid the things my 12 year old me would slap me over. I don't want to worry all week about my weigh in. I don't want to sit down and just stare at the world. I want to get up and participate and think about it like 12 year old me would think!
Here's to life and the girls who's living it!
Friday, May 3, 2013
Some weeks are skinny. Some weeks are fat.
I'm not really sure why but this week feels like a fat week. My clothes don't feel different. But I feel "unhealthy" compared to previous weeks. I think this is partially due to the start being excessive in eating out.
I haven't eaten enough vegetables. I haven't had enough fruit. I only drank an adequate amount of water on Monday and Wednesday. I actually got thirsty this morning. I haven't experienced "thirst" in many weeks.
It got me thinking...does SkinnyHusband experience "fat weeks" where he feels almost like he's failed hisself? Or does he just simply say "on to the next one."
I know there are times that he's eaten so much he's complained about how much ate. He doesn't focus on the weight so much anymore, he just says "I'm uncomfortably full."
I haven't worried so much about the weight this week either. I don't feel heavier. The clothes feel the same but I feel unproductive in my quest to a better life. I'm expecting to maintain.
Next week, I'm going to try eggs. I want to learn to like them. I don't see any reason I shouldn't like them now. I've grown to enjoy certain things so I should be able to handle them. If I could do a 3 minute egg sandwich (microwavable egg cooker) one morning. It's healthier than a biscuit. I also strive to save more this week.
OTTNOFW (On to the next one FatWife!)
I haven't eaten enough vegetables. I haven't had enough fruit. I only drank an adequate amount of water on Monday and Wednesday. I actually got thirsty this morning. I haven't experienced "thirst" in many weeks.
It got me thinking...does SkinnyHusband experience "fat weeks" where he feels almost like he's failed hisself? Or does he just simply say "on to the next one."
I know there are times that he's eaten so much he's complained about how much ate. He doesn't focus on the weight so much anymore, he just says "I'm uncomfortably full."
I haven't worried so much about the weight this week either. I don't feel heavier. The clothes feel the same but I feel unproductive in my quest to a better life. I'm expecting to maintain.
Next week, I'm going to try eggs. I want to learn to like them. I don't see any reason I shouldn't like them now. I've grown to enjoy certain things so I should be able to handle them. If I could do a 3 minute egg sandwich (microwavable egg cooker) one morning. It's healthier than a biscuit. I also strive to save more this week.
OTTNOFW (On to the next one FatWife!)
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Take care of those teeth!
I work in a health office where lots of little kids come and go. Today, I had a first. A little 1 year old girl fell and bumped her teeth while we were walking back to my office. I have had lots of pre-toddlers fall on the way to my office. This was the first time one has ever had actually injury.
She bumped her teeth on the floor. We have the typical flat carpet over concrete. There was blood EVERYWHERE....well....at least all over mom and baby. None on my walls or floors.
The more we sat and talked, the more I realized she didn't just bite her lip as mom suspected. She really did hit her teeth and hit them hard. Mom was really upset and made a comment about how important teeth were. It hit me, I totally take these little white things in my mouth for granted!
I think "TEETH REQUIRE BRUSHING, FLOSSING, AND RINSING." That means ten minutes a day of a routine. I'm not perfect. I don't floss twice a day or rinse twice a day, those are more of once a day things for me most of the time but still...that's almost 2.5 days a year that I spend taking care of my pearly whites.
And what do my teeth do for me!?! Um...They are the first step of digestion. Those little suckers grind up foods for me so I can absorb more from them. They also provide me with a very lovely smile. Lastly, they let me enjoy some of my favorite foods. To me, there's not many things in life better than biting into a crisp Granny Smith apple.
I work with low income clients regularly who are missing lots of teeth or have cavities. They can't enjoy the same foods I enjoy. Imagine not being able to bite into a slice of pizza? Having to cut it up before you gum it or chew only on your back teeth. Oh man. I couldn't even imagine.
So please friends, please take care of your teeth! If you think somethings wrong, go see a dentist! After seeing this 1 year old's bleeding mouth, I will definitely be visiting mine soon for my check up. :)
*side note: talked to mom since the incident and little one is doing fine. Doctor at the ER said she's going to have some swelling of the gums for the next few days but we don't think there is any nerve damage.
She bumped her teeth on the floor. We have the typical flat carpet over concrete. There was blood EVERYWHERE....well....at least all over mom and baby. None on my walls or floors.
The more we sat and talked, the more I realized she didn't just bite her lip as mom suspected. She really did hit her teeth and hit them hard. Mom was really upset and made a comment about how important teeth were. It hit me, I totally take these little white things in my mouth for granted!
I think "TEETH REQUIRE BRUSHING, FLOSSING, AND RINSING." That means ten minutes a day of a routine. I'm not perfect. I don't floss twice a day or rinse twice a day, those are more of once a day things for me most of the time but still...that's almost 2.5 days a year that I spend taking care of my pearly whites.
And what do my teeth do for me!?! Um...They are the first step of digestion. Those little suckers grind up foods for me so I can absorb more from them. They also provide me with a very lovely smile. Lastly, they let me enjoy some of my favorite foods. To me, there's not many things in life better than biting into a crisp Granny Smith apple.
I work with low income clients regularly who are missing lots of teeth or have cavities. They can't enjoy the same foods I enjoy. Imagine not being able to bite into a slice of pizza? Having to cut it up before you gum it or chew only on your back teeth. Oh man. I couldn't even imagine.
So please friends, please take care of your teeth! If you think somethings wrong, go see a dentist! After seeing this 1 year old's bleeding mouth, I will definitely be visiting mine soon for my check up. :)
*side note: talked to mom since the incident and little one is doing fine. Doctor at the ER said she's going to have some swelling of the gums for the next few days but we don't think there is any nerve damage.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
3 lbs in 3 days
I traveled for work Sunday thru Tuesday. I'm happy to report I tracked everything I ate, stayed under my caloric recommendation each night, and even exercised.
And I gained 3 lbs....
Remember that lovely number I was happy to see? He was long gone.
The old me would have binged. Throwing the scale across the room, picking up a jar of icing and eating several hundred of calories worth if super sweet goo.
New FatWife smiled, stepped off the scale and went to let the dog out. I know I did not gain 3lbs in reality. I did not poop the whole time I was gone. I also ate twice as much sodium as I normally do...it's hard not to when you eat out every meal.
Just because life isn't going perfect or as planned doesn't mean you give up. Three days of eating the best I could made me feel better than 3 days of eating whatever I wanted. There's no need to look at this as a sad event. It was a great success for me!
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